More than a year ago, I wrote an e-mail to myself to be delivered at a random date into the future. I don't remember when it was supposed to be delivered, but I dread the day that it shows up in my inbox. I'm afraid that I will not recognize me from the past. I also know that it will make me very sad.
For the past few weeks I have been listening to music on the radio. It's been two years almost to the day that I could only listen to talk radio for two reasons: a) I didn't want to listen to music because I would attach my current mood to music and I didn't want to destroy songs for myself and 2) Listening to people talk calmed my nerves.
Two years ago on Mother's Day was when my depression started, I guess. By the end of that year I was HELLA depressed and anxiety ridden. God, what a terrible way to end 2013. 2014 started off well enough, but that took a turn for the worst right after Valentine's Day. Anyway, Mother's Day came, almost unnoticed, until I was driving home that night. I was in my car, singing along to a song, when I realized that I COULD actually listen to music! When did that happen, I asked myself? I dunno, like three weeks ago I guess. There are some songs that I like listening to! It seems like something so stupid, but just IMAGINE, I have been listening to NOTHING but talk radio in the car for the past two years! And now I feel like I don't have to. Just like that.
I'm listening to music right now! Usually I would just have something on TV as background noise so I wouldn't have to listen to my own thoughts. BUT, I am listening to music right now, omg I could cry. I know I sound like a crazy person BUT WHATEVER.
OK, so a ton of stuff has transpired since I last updated. I went to Watsonville and it was more fun than I thought it would be! We did everything I said we would and surprisingly, I wasn't tired by the trip at all! I mean, I wasn't refreshed cuz it felt like work but it wasn't bad. The cake was OK.
I moved to Aliso Viejo and I couldn't be happier! I love it here, uuggghhhh sooo much! I am so glad I left Garden Grove. I just hate everything about that place and anything OVER THERE. I am much happier down here where there's more people than traffic lights. This is a nice quiet city. I live with my sister, her BF and my nephew. I wasn't too sure about the arrangement but I guess it doesn't really matter since I'm hardly home anyways. I like spending more time with Andre, he sure is adorable! The only thing that bugs me is that Andre snores like an old man!
Jamella got me a belated bday present! It's an adorable little kitten that we named Artemis. She loves snuggling and sleeping and she is so freakin cute and perfect in every way! She gets along with Mallow and the dogs that live here. So great! I just wish kittens could stay little forever.
I am just finishing school for the semester. Slowly but surely going places... dunno where, but I'm going. Speaking of which, I got a promotion at work! I now make slightly more money (I think) and I get a sweet new title which means I do what I've always been doing, but now people will be like "HEY! You know how to do stuff right?" and I'm gonna be like, "YES" but secretly I'm gonna be like, "Uhhhh I dunno but lets give it a shot!" Which, lets be honest, is how everyone at the top thinks.
To wrap up this bit of randomness I would like to say that, for the first time in 2 years, I feel like I am becoming myself again. It feels nice.
