My Vegan Life

A couple of weeks ago Vince decided that we should go vegetarian. He said it was for health reasons and also for the poor animals. I agreed to go a long with it because I had nothing better to do. I agree with the health reasons of the decision because it does force us to think about our meals more. It also forces us to find alternatives for everything and taco/burger runs in the middle of the night are no longer possible. It was my horrible misfortune that about 3 days into this new lifestyle I was told by my doctor that I had to cut dairy completely out of my diet, thus rendering me a reluctant vegan.

I am more sad that I can't hair dairy than meat because in the back of my mind I KNOW that if I really wanted to, I COULD eat meat whenever I wanted. But dairy, I can pretty much never touch again in my life. I LOVE milk and cheese and yogurt and everything good to eat on this planet that contains milk. Like cake. And cupcakes and brownies and soups. As a kid, I could down two tall glasses of milk and half a package of cookies in one sitting. And as my mom always said, "That's why you are the way you are!" in regards to my pudgy self. It was a well known fact that I loved milk to the point where when I DIDN'T enjoy two or more glasses of milk something must be wrong with me.

Anywho, when I was in middle school my mom took my sister and I to the doctor's office for, what I remember, no apparent reason. She did this a lot. He asked us if there was anything that was bothering us and I told him about my bum knee and he said I would "grow out of it" which I never did and it still hurts. The second thing was that I always had stomach aches. He asked me if I had a lot of milk and cheese and I told him HELL YEAH! He said that I could be lactose intolerant and to lay off the dairy for a while. Then after a few days to have some and see what happened. I smiled sweetly and said ok but in my mind I knew he was a crazy and I only kind of tried his experiment. I didn't even have to try very hard though because I knew it was the milk that upset my stomach and caused me stomach aches. I remember having ice cream one day. The spoon has barely touched my mouth and I immediately had gas LOLOL. But I didn't care, I loved milk way too much!!!

Fast forward to the present and the stomach pains were feeding my paranoia so I had to quit milk completely. Combined with the no meat lifestyle of a vegetarian I had unwillingly become the one thing I despise most in the world (sorry guys): a vegan. It's easy to be vegetarian, but another thing completely to be that AND not have dairy. I can't have certain soups, sandwiches or smoothies. I can only eat one thing from any restaurant. And I'll be damned if I ever eat a salad! The only thing I can have that I enjoy is eggs. And GODDAMN do I devour those eggs like there's no tomorrow! Or like they're made of the freshest milk on the planet.

Anyway, someone at work told me about vegan cheese and I am trying that out. It sucks that I can't have dairy but there are a lot of foods out there, like vegan cheese, made for poor souls like me whose stomachs don't work right. Being vegetarian definitely limits the foods you can eat, but in the long run what you do eat is a lot healthier. Unless it's fries... guess I should cut back on the fries.

THE END