My Life (On Toilet Paper)

A little bit of deep thoughts. Skip to the FUN FACT if you don't like boring and sappy tales of woe.

I have many a blog. The earliest of which dates to 2003 but even before then I kept journals, my first one started in 1999. My life has been chronicled for 11 years this summer. Crazy! I can look back and see how I've grown, matured and learned from my mistakes etc.

I spent yesterday in San Marcos, and for a good chunk of the day Rosanna and I spent in storage looking through EVERYTHING. Among the goods was an entire box filled with my books!! I was so excited to find them.

I told a couple people once that I didn't know who I was anymore. I couldn't define myself as well as I used to. People would ask me about my interests and I would say something generic like "I like a little bit of everything." The one thing I knew for sure was that my name was Maritza.

I've moved in and out of many places in my 25 years of life. The more I moved, the less of my things I took with me because I had no room for them. Eventually it got to the point where all I owned was clothes and a computer and I thought that was all I needed. I learned at a young age, from moving so much, not to get attached to material possessions (or people, but that's a whooole other blog entry). So I wasn't really saddened when I had to leave something behind. The only time I thought about it was when someone would ask, "Where's all your stuff?" and I would look confused and simply say, "What stuff?"

I brought three boxes and three bags up from San Marcos with me filled with my things. I was looking through them, tossing out old clothes and what not and I was so... surprised by the things that I found. It was like every box was a time capsule of my entire life. I found pictures of my friends from high school, my lucky "16" shirt, remnants of past relationships, costumes, my old Regal polo, jigsaw puzzles that Michelle and I worked on, pictures of my siblings when they were young and innocent, my book collection, old Neopets cards, stuff from my dad. It's as if, with every box I opened and explored, a little piece of me went back into place. My closet is now filled with a life that I had let go and forgotten, but didn't realize how much I missed and needed. It's also filled with my awesome HOT PINK clothes hangers!!!

I took everything out of every box and bag and now my room is a disaster. But it's MY disaster. And as I carefully made my way around the room, stepping over piles of clothes and toys, sticking glow-in-the-dark-stars on yet another set of new walls I felt happy, because I am Maritza.

FUN FACT: The title of the entry comes from a piece of fancy writing done by yours truly several years back where I explained my life was as common as toilet paper because it was always full of shit.

:D